My Burnout chronicles: the strength.

Disclaimer: everything I write here is my thoughts and opinions about the condition I am still going through. I call it burnout. They may or may not apply to you, dear reader. But I hope it may help you or someone else with their struggles, by giving examples and ideas.

Intro

So I would say there are two types of strength that we possess. Our mental strength and our physical strength. And they are also connected, for example improving physical strength may improve your mood and improving your mood, may help you recover better and in turn improve your physical strength.

So here is a trick question. Which one recovers quicker after burnout? As it turns out, for me my physical strength did. Here is the story.

On the way to burnout

I had chronic fatigue for three years running, but I still did sports. I enjoy volleyball and skiing. I also took tennis a few months before my burnout day X.

I was struggling in tennis, I mean it was pretty physically exhausting. But I blamed it on weight. I thought since I have extra weight, then that is why I have so much trouble breathing and running. One hour through the lesson, I was practically crawling out of the court. Soon my thoughts at the start of every lesson were none other than "when is it going to end, when?!" (I leave my ability to put myself into situations where I am super uncomfortable out of scope for now).

And then my burnout day X came when I couldn't do it any longer. I quit my job, my sports and everything else really because I couldn't do it anymore. And I didn't go back to the court for another six months or so.

Coming back

Only after all this time did I return to my tennis lessons, having done no sport or much physical activity, and having NOT lost any weight. But I was somewhat physically rested. I was not under everyday stress anymore, at least the stress was different and I was working through it.

And guess what, the first lesson was fun, so much fun. And I could perform well. I went home, feeling that I could have even done 2 hours, not one. And the next one was great too. And whilst I was still not even close to feeling my 100% neither physically, nor mentally I felt as if a huge load has dropped. I could do physical exercises again and it could be my way of rebuilding my mental strength as well.

Afterthought

I guess this is going to be a running theme in my stories, but the afterthought for me was how long I was not seeing the elephant in the room. To the point that I forgot, what it means to be rested at all. Things don't have to be so friggin hard and if they are, something is wrong.

Burnout is a process, a thing that doesn't happen to you overnight. And you are given signs, but among all of the stress we find ourselves in, it is easy to forget to simply listen to those signs.