How Loss Shaped My Outlook on Life

This post reflects on the unexpected lessons learned from recent losses and how they've reshaped my approach to life and relationships.

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Death does not discriminate, whether saints or sinners, in the end, all are equal.

These aren’t exact words from anyone I’ve known, but a sentiment that resonates deeply with me, especially after the events of early 2024.

A Series of Partings

It began with the passing of my grandmother, a sad but expected part of life's natural cycle. But then, the dominoes continued to fall - my friend's grandmother passed away, a younger friend was suddenly claimed by a car accident, and a caring and athletic pastor, Pr. Timothy died unexpectedly at 57.

Life’s Uncertain, So I Made Changes

Previously, I equated death with old age, imagining it typically follows a long illness where one fades in a hospital bed. But these losses unveiled a different reality: death is unpredictable and can claim anyone, anytime, regardless of their health or goodness. This was a jarring revelation that prompted a shift in how I view my existence and prioritize my time.

Returning to Roots

Driven by these events, I went back to my hometown, more than 200 kilometers away, and choosing to spend over a week there. I took on familial responsibilities, helping around the house, taking care of pets, and guiding my younger siblings towards independence. This wasn’t just a retreat but an attempt to reinforce the family's safety net.

Preparing for the Inevitable

Most people avoid talking about death, but after seeing how sudden it can be, I got my things in order. I talked to my parents about my insurance, made sure they knew where my important papers were, and started a checklist for what should be done if I pass away unexpectedly. In case something happens to me, my family will not be left in a financial or emotional mess.

Living Simply and Purposefully

Clarity often comes from grief. The loss clarified for me what truly matters—people, not possessions; experiences, not accolades. Simplifying my life to focus on these priorities became not just a desire but a need. This wasn’t about preparing for death, but about making the most of life.

Thoughts on Mortality and Connection

As I write this, there are reports of continuous earthquakes in Taiwan, where several of my colleagues are based. This has me worried about their safety, and it’s a reminder of how we’re all connected, no matter the distance.

Looking Forward With a Changed Perspective

If the first quarter of 2024 has taught me anything, it’s that life is unpredictably short. I’ve learned to appreciate my loved ones more, prepare for the unexpected better, and focus on truly living each day to its fullest.

Final Thoughts

I’ve probably not been perfect in the past; I’ve hurt people, sometimes without realizing it. Writing this has made me reflect on those moments, and I’m sorry for them. I hope to do better, moving forward with a kind heart and a clear mind.

Life’s tough lessons are perhaps the most potent catalyst for change.

As Sadhguru wisely said,

As life is, death is. The awareness of this fact allows you to live life fully and intensely.

Reference of death checklist for young adults: https://bereev.com/resources/checklists/death-checklist-young-adults/