The dark side of being a young leader that they don't talk about

This article is very personal, and I fought a true battle with my inner thoughts about whether to share it. After some conversations with young leaders, I realized that the struggles I faced are universal, but we often lack the courage to talk about them. Additionally, our desire to always appear tough and untouchable can hold us back.

My journey as a young leader began when I applied to be a Google Developer Student Club leader at my university. Initially, I was very excited about this role—helping people grow by sharing my knowledge and opportunities while also developing my soft skills. It was all rainbows and excitement until I received the acceptance email. Strangely, after reading the acceptance email, all that excitement and happiness turned into anxiety, doubt, and fear. It was a mess in my head.

People were contacting me to congratulate me, saying I was the right person for this position, but inside, I was thinking, "Seriously? I am just a first-year student in software engineering. How am I going to lead people? Am I good enough? There must be a lot of people better than me." That night, I couldn't sleep, feeling like an imposter and thinking of writing an email to withdraw from this opportunity because I thought I wasn't good enough. I eventually grabbed a notebook and a pen and started writing down all my thoughts. As I wrote, my mind began to clear, and a question popped into my head: "If not me, then who?" Deep down, I knew I wanted to make a change, help people, and meet motivated individuals. So, I decided to push through these emotions and see how things would go.

Here is a glance at what I wrote that night:

For more context, I was a community leader in a new university. In my first year, I knew nobody there. I went to the administration with some papers to start a new IT club at the university I had just been accepted into. That's kind of crazy, right? And that's exactly what the administration told me. They asked, "Aren't you taking things too fast?" I told them, "No, I am okay," and they supported me with the paperwork and everything, encouraging me, which I truly appreciated.

Now, I had to find members for my IT club in a university where I knew no one, among other obstacles. But I said to myself, "Man, just push forward," and that's what I did. After some months, we finally got started. It wasn't perfect, but it was good enough. As my first year progressed, I was still learning and making minor mistakes. Overall, at the end of the year, looking back at everything I had done, the skills I had learned, and the obstacles I had overcome, it was very satisfying. I learned a valuable lesson: when you're afraid to jump, that's exactly when you have to jump.

Balancing Academics and Leadership

One of the toughest challenges I faced was balancing my responsibilities as a student and a community leader. Managing a community meant organizing events, holding meetings, and continuously engaging with members, all while keeping up with my studies. I had to study for exams, complete homework, and manage project deadlines. There were times when I felt overwhelmed, questioning if I could handle it all. Yet, these challenges taught me time management, prioritization, and resilience. Despite the struggle, the growth I experienced made it all worthwhile.

Building the Team

Recruiting and building a team was one of the most enjoyable and rewarding parts of my journey. I started by friendly interviewing students, understanding their interests, and evaluating their enthusiasm. Organizing meetings and seeing the team come together was incredibly fulfilling. We shared ideas, brainstormed projects, and supported each other. The companionship and sense of purpose we built as a team were truly motivating and made the leadership experience richer.

Reflection and Gratitude

This is the dark side of being a young leader that they don't talk about. If you're just starting, I hope this story inspires you and lets you know that you're not alone. The struggle is real, but the fruits are truly worth it.

After looking back at all my achievements in my journey:

• Organizing a national ML hackathon at UM6P Mnext

• Organizing a national hackathon about AI and cybersecurity, N7Challenge

• Organizing an international cybersecurity competition

• Presenting more than 30 talks, conferences, and workshops

• Helping new people take their first steps into leadership positions

I am truly grateful, but I didn't do this alone. I was lucky to be surrounded by amazing people who gave me unconditional support. Without them, I wouldn't have come this far. I would like to thank them, and I am truly grateful for all of them.

Resources

The goal of this article is to encourage you and let you know that you're not alone. I am always available to help if you need anything. You can also visit my portfolio at outidrarine.com. There, you will find a section called "MY TALKS" with the slides of my presentations—feel free to use them. You will also find all my social media links there.