Empathy as a skill for developers

Initially, while working with the team as a developer, I didn't have good communication skills. I struggled to communicate with the team and keep up. Coding skills weren't an issue (though I was being egotistic; it was definitely a major issue). The bigger problem was communication with the team. I couldn't ask questions properly or communicate updates effectively. It was all a mess. It felt like a team with walls. I had to improve. I had to improve this. So, I did the best thing I could do: I reached out to my mentor and explained the situation (not the exact situation, but I asked questions on how to improve communication).

"You should overcommunicate, with other people, give them lots of information, make them feel understood"

These are the words my mentor said to me in a one-on-one meeting. She explained in detail and gave me real-life examples, but this sentence captures the essence of it.

Here is what I learned while implementing this advice in real life as a developer:

Why Overcommunicate and How It Shows Empathy:

When you work in tech, you often need to work as a team. You have to constantly communicate updates and any blockers you are facing. If someone asks you about a feature that was pending from your side and blocking their task, or if you just made changes to the code or implemented a new feature, you should share as much information as possible. This is important because the other person might be hesitant to ask more questions, or there could be miscommunication. From the beginning, you should have empathy and share detailed information, not just short bullet points.

Doing this really helps. The other person feels understood and is more open to clear communication. When you start implementing these changes, you will improve as a team player.

How can you implement this?

• Slack: Instead of sending one-liner messages, share three detailed messages and humanize them. Show empathy.

• Online Meetings: If you are having an online meeting, ask if the person understood what you are trying to say. Encourage them to ask as many questions as possible and answer them with broader context. Send any updates after the meeting on Slack. Plan a catch-up session if you need to discuss anything more.

• In Person: Even in person, just ask more questions, and while answering give broader context

Some Broader examples

Example 1: Code Review Process

During a code review, instead of just pointing out what is wrong with the code, take the time to explain why a particular change is necessary. For instance, if a colleague's code is not following the team's coding standards, you could say:

"I noticed that this part of the code doesn't align with our coding standards. Following these standards helps us maintain consistency and readability across the codebase. Could you please update this section to match our guidelines? Let me know if you need any help with this."

Example 2: Handling Blockers

If you encounter a blocker that is preventing you from completing your task, communicate this clearly to your team. For example:

"I've run into an issue with the API integration that is blocking my progress on the new feature. I've tried several solutions, but none have worked so far. I'm currently researching alternative approaches, but I wanted to keep everyone informed. If anyone has experience with this issue, your input would be greatly appreciated."

Example 3: Onboarding New Team Members

When a new team member joins, overcommunicate to help them get up to speed. For example:

"Welcome to the team! Here are some resources that might help you get started: our project documentation, coding standards, and a list of key contacts. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or need clarification on anything. I'm here to help you settle in smoothly."

Example 4: Daily Stand-ups

During daily stand-up meetings, provide detailed updates rather than brief statements. For example:

"Yesterday, I completed the user authentication module and started working on the user profile feature. I encountered a minor issue with the database schema, but I managed to resolve it. Today, I'll continue with the user profile feature and aim to have it ready for review by the end of the day. No blockers at the moment."

Note to the reader:

I am not the best coder or the best person, but if you need any help, please feel free to reach out to me. I can always be the person who listens to you.

Vikrant Khedkar (@KhedkarVik10391) / X