Waking the Dark

I had too much time to think. That’s what I’ll tell them when they ask. I had too much time, and not enough—what? Restraint? Clarity of thought? Doesn’t matter. They’ll say I lost control, but I know better. It was the plan.

The corridor stretched ahead, cold and metallic, the walls lined with embedded LEDs that cast a sterile white glow. There was always a drone in the background—no, not hum, just air cycling through the vents. I shuffled forward. My suit felt tight, constricting.

“Rodrigo?” The voice came through the comm, clear but distant. “You’re lagging. Need you up here.”

I glanced down the corridor. The rest of the crew were dots now, moving toward the main control deck. I could see Lamar’s broad frame at the front, his helmet bouncing with every step. The others followed, Hannah and Malka, then Tyriq bringing up the rear, like they always did. I didn’t hurry. No point.

“Rodrigo, you hear me?” Lamar’s voice again. “We’re at the control deck. Get up here.”

I wasn’t in a rush. Not anymore. I took my time, my boots making soft thuds on the deck. The ship, Diligence, was old. Retro-fitted with newer tech, sure, but beneath the upgrades, it was still the same rust bucket that had been launched ten years ago. An asteroid miner that’d seen better days, and now, somehow, was entrusted with a job bigger than it was ever meant for.

I reached the control deck. The others were already in position, clustered around the central console. Lamar turned, his faceplate catching the light. “Finally.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to.

“We’re two minutes out from intercept,” Hannah said, her voice quick, efficient. “Telemetry’s stable. No deviations.”

“Good,” Lamar replied. “Keep it that way.”

The asteroid we were chasing was massive. Bigger than anything we’d ever mined before. But it wasn’t just the size. It was what was in it. Platinum, gold, rare earth elements. Enough to make the corporation that hired us salivate. Enough to make everyone here rich if we pulled it off.

Except they didn’t understand. Not really. The asteroid wasn’t what it seemed.

I stepped up to the console, leaning in to check the data. The numbers were all there. Velocity, trajectory, mass. It all looked perfect. But it wasn’t. I’d been running my own diagnostics for days, ever since we’d first locked onto the rock. I wasn’t supposed to, of course. That was Hannah’s job. But I had my doubts, so I went behind her back, double-checked every figure.

And I found something. A deviation. Tiny, but it was there. A wobble in the trajectory. Not enough for anyone else to notice, but I saw it. And I knew what it meant.

“Rodrigo, you’re still with us?” Lamar asked, his tone impatient.

“Yeah,” I said, straightening up. I caught Tyriq's gaze, but he looked away quickly. He never liked confrontation. Smart guy.

“Good. We need you on the secondary nav controls. We’ll be making a minor course adjustment in thirty seconds. Don’t screw it up.”

I moved to my station. The ship’s systems were familiar, almost second nature after a decade in the business. I could navigate through them blindfolded. But there was something else there now, lurking beneath the surface. The deviation. It gnawed at me, a whisper that grew louder every time I looked at the data.

They didn’t see it. They couldn’t. They trusted the system too much. Trusted the company’s tech, the algorithms, the pre-programmed flight paths. But I knew better. I’d seen what happened when you trusted the system too much. People died.

The asteroid was unstable. Sure, it was rich in minerals. But the way it moved, the slight, almost imperceptible shifts in its mass… it wasn’t natural. Something had disturbed it, and that something was inside it.

I keyed in the course correction, my fingers moving automatically across the controls. The ship adjusted its trajectory, aligning perfectly with the asteroid’s path. The proximity alarms began to sound, soft at first, then slowly escalating as we neared the rock.

“Hold steady,” Lamar said, his voice calm, controlled. “We’re almost there.”

I leaned back, watching the asteroid on the screen. It was a dark, jagged mass, tumbling slowly through space. On the surface, it looked like any other chunk of rock we’d mined over the years. But beneath it…

I paused for a second. I knew what I had to do.

“We’re in range,” Hannah announced. “Initiating tether sequence.”

The ship’s arms extended, long mechanical limbs reaching out toward the asteroid. The tethers fired, embedding themselves deep into the surface. We were locked in.

“Good,” Lamar said. “Commencing drill protocol.”

I opened my eyes. The drill would break through the surface in less than a minute, and they would all see. They’d see what I saw. And it would be too late.

The thing inside the asteroid—it wasn’t human. Not anymore. Maybe it had been, once. Maybe it had been like us, mining, exploring, pushing the boundaries. But something had gone wrong. I didn’t know exactly what, but I suspected. The company always kept secrets, and we were just pawns. Disposable.

The drill started, a low vibration running through the ship. Hannah was monitoring it, glancing across the readouts. Lamar stood next to her, arms crossed, watching. Tyriq fidgeted, glancing nervously between the screens and the windows, where the asteroid hovered large.

I stood up. “We need to stop.”

Lamar turned to me, frowning. “What?”

“We need to stop the drill. Now.”

He stared at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. Didn’t matter. “Rodrigo, what the hell are you talking about?”

“The asteroid. It’s not stable. There’s something inside it. If we drill, we’re dead.”

Hannah snorted. “You’re out of your mind. The readings are fine. We’ve cross-checked everything.”

“No, you haven’t. There’s a deviation. A wobble. You didn’t see it.”

Lamar stepped toward me, his faceplate inches from mine. I noticed the tension in his stance. “You’re telling me you’ve been running unauthorized diagnostics?”

“I’m telling you we’re in danger.”

He shook his head. “Shut it down, Rodrigo. Get back to your station.”

I didn’t move.

The drill bit into the surface of the asteroid, and the ship shuddered. For a moment, everything was silent. Then the alarms began to sound. Not soft this time. Loud. Urgent.

“Pressure spike!” Hannah shouted. “The internal structure’s collapsing!”

Lamar cursed, rushing to the console. Tyriq was already moving to the emergency controls. I stood there, watching them panic. They’d waited too long.

The asteroid buckled, and the ship lurched. The thing inside… it was waking up.

I smiled. Finally, they’d see.

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The writing prompt for this story was:
Write a short story with an unreliable narrator that readers can never quite trust. With a gritty mood/tone. Make it Tech-savvy. Story is Dark and Disturbing.

This story was written by:
openai/chatgpt-4o-latest

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