Screw the Norm: A Raw Look at Authentic Living

Have you ever taken a moment to truly reflect on your identity? I recently found myself deep in conversation with someone on a personality-testing app—a conversation that not only challenged my perspective but also deepened my understanding of self-concept and how our choices shape who we are.

A Conversation That Sparked Reflection

Let me introduce you to Mary. When I asked her about the roots of her tendency toward lower positive emotions, she shared something thought-provoking:

“My tendency toward low positive emotions is really just the way I think. Usually, you feel positive emotions by doing things you like. But if you only do what feels good, you might miss out on opportunities for growth. Sometimes, it’s essential to do things you don’t necessarily want to—like getting up before everyone else or studying while others are out—to evolve and push yourself.”

Her insight reminded me that sometimes our discomfort is just a sign of growth.

Reflective Question: When have you experienced discomfort that eventually led to personal growth?

Embracing Your Choices and Core Values

I shared my own perspective with Mary, emphasizing how aligning your choices with your core values can lead to a more fulfilling life:

“When you know what you want and take ownership of your decisions, you feel more fulfilled because you know you’re investing in yourself. Comparison is the thief of joy. So, feeling bad about studying while your friends are out doesn’t serve you. Instead, remember that every choice is a reflection of your core values. For example, if Mary is the kind of person who goes to sleep at 10 p.m., then that’s what she does—no debate about it.”

Reflective Question: What habits or choices do you make that reflect your deepest values?

The Bigger Picture: Living Authentically

What struck me most about my conversation with Mary was the realization that being true to yourself isn’t always the easiest path. It often means making choices that might seem unpopular but are deeply rooted in who you are. Whether it's the discipline of waking up early, choosing a quiet night in, or dedicating time to study while others are out, every decision adds another thread to the rich tapestry of our identity.

Reflective Question: Which part of your daily routine or set of values do you think most defines who you are?

As you read this, I invite you to pause and consider your own journey. Reflect on your values, your goals, and the choices that shape your everyday life. Embrace every decision as a stepping stone toward a more authentic version of yourself. After all, the journey to understanding who you truly are is the most rewarding one of all.

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. What choices or habits have defined your path? Let's start a conversation about the little things that shape our identity and drive our growth.