Hi, I’m currently a third-year Computer Engineering student — and a few weeks ago, I decided to start blogging.

It wasn’t a grand plan.
Just a quiet decision, born out of the mess of thoughts that had been swirling in my head.

I realized I needed a space.
A space to lay things out.
To sort through questions, fears, and half-shaped dreams —
To maybe, just maybe, start answering the things I was too scared to even ask out loud.

Studying Everything — and Feeling Like I Knew Nothing

Let me be honest: studying Computer Engineering isn't like learning “coding.”
It’s more like someone hands you a buffet and says, “Eat everything. Don’t get full. Don’t get confused.”

We learn a bit of circuits, a bit of software, a sprinkle of AI, image processing, low-level programming, a whole course where you write code like it’s the '80s (yes, Emu86, I’m looking at you).
You become a jack-of-all-tech — but master of none.

That used to excite me. Until it didn’t.
Because eventually, I realized:
I need to choose.

I Wasn’t Just Learning Code — I Was Learning Myself

When I moved to Istanbul to start university, I didn’t know anyone.
I didn’t even know the language.
I was just a stranger in a giant city, sitting in classes taught in a language I hadn’t mastered yet.

But there was a fire inside me — something stubborn and loud.
I didn’t let the language stop me.
I worked hard, practiced, failed, asked questions anyway.
Learning Turkish became my first win.
And with that, I started learning something even deeper: who I am when things are hard.

I wasn’t just growing academically.
I was navigating young adulthood, identity, adaptation.
Now, after years of trial and error, I’ve cleared the first fog.
And it’s finally time to look at what comes next.

Choosing a Path — Even When It’s Scary

In the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot.
(And by a lot, I mean a lot.)

What do I want to do?
Which direction feels right — not just exciting, but sustainable?

I kept asking myself:

“What if I make the wrong choice?”
“What if I commit to something and it doesn’t work?”
“What if I’m not enough for the thing I want?”

But then another voice answered:

“And what if you are?”

After countless nights of overthinking, conversations, reflections —
I found myself pulled toward one thing:
Software Development.

Not because it’s easy. Not because it’s trendy.
But because it’s the only area where, even in the chaos, something clicks.
Where I see myself building, solving, and one day, maybe even leading.

I Don’t Have It All Figured Out — But I’m Ready

I’m not at the finish line.
Honestly, I don’t even know if I’m halfway there.
But I’ve chosen to walk this road — eyes open, heart in.

I know it’ll take time.
I’ll need patience, strong habits, probably some tears and caffeine-fueled nights.

But I’m in.
I’m here for the effort, not just the outcome.
I’ll build one project at a time, learn one tool at a time, write one honest blog at a time.

Because this — this blog — it isn’t just content.
It’s a message to my future self.

Dear Me,

When you feel unsure again — because you will —
Come back and read this.
Remember where you started.
Remember that you chose this.
Not because it was easy, but because it made you feel alive.

I’ll be sharing everything I learn on this journey, step by step.
Not to prove anything to the world — but to remind myself that I’m growing.
That I’m moving.

Thanks for reading. Let’s build something great, shall we?

✍️ Written by a Computer Engineering student learning how to code a life as much as a program.

A Blog for My Future Self — Beginning to Understand My Path