Series: Unlearn Imposter Syndrome + Reverse Tech Hierarchy Brainwashing With Me

Part 1: 💻 Stuff That Doesn’t Make Someone a Better Programmer Than You (Even if they made you feel like it did)

I was thinking back to a programming learning environment I utilized when I still wasn’t calling myself a software engineer yet, but probably should have been.

One participant in this learning community had already had a job in tech, and because of this, people let them get away with a lot of toxic behavior because they were “already in the field.” Because people looked up to them.

I did not buy into it.

In fact, I felt that their braggadocio was quite distracting and disruptive to those of us who were eager to learn.

After the person left the program early, I discovered it was all smoke and mirrors, they weren’t actually putting any effort into learning new concepts, and they were only a few Git commands away from us in terms of their expertise in web development.

But people gave them quite a bit of reverence they didn’t deserve.

Now, as an instructor and mentor for two online learning communities, I see people giving me that same reverence.

I think it’s dangerous.

Not because I’m not doing the work — I am — but because I don’t know everything. I never will. None of us will. And that’s the point. We all have something to teach each other.

By contrast, I’ve recently run into folks who try to put me in a box — “entry-level,” “junior,” “self-taught.” They use those labels to suggest I’m less technical, less deserving, or in need of their mentorship.

Earlier in my career, I might have seen them as authorities. Now, I see through the façade. And honestly? It’s a red flag.

I’ve also been thinking about why impostor syndrome is so rampant in tech — even among senior and staff engineers — and why it never really goes away. I think part of it has to do with how software engineering is not only vast but ever-changing. So there’s always going to be something new to learn.

But some people turn this insecurity into ammunition to put others down, only further contributing to this vicious cycle.

A growth mindset is key, but it’s also important not to put others in the industry on a pedestal above you—or below you.

So, I decided to start this series: a reflection on tech hierarchies and impostor syndrome.

Let’s start by unlearning some of the things that don’t actually make someone a better (or worse) programmer than you.

🧹 Things That Do Not Make Someone a Better Programmer Than You (even if they made you think so):

1. Knowing a language you don’t

2. Knowing git commands you don’t

3. Having Senior in their title

4. Working at a FAANG or FAANG-adjacent company

5. Knowing how to reverse a linked list (or solve any other LeetCode problem)

6. Dropping Agile buzzwords like confetti

7. Gaslighting, (girl)bossing, and gatekeeping

8. Talking over you while pretending it’s "mentorship"

9. Performing confidence louder than your curiosity

10. Hosting book clubs or speaking at a conference while you’re just trying to learn flex-box

11. Years of experience, in some cases

✨ Things That Do Not Make Someone a Worse Programmer than You:

1. Struggling with a concept (everyone learns differently — struggle = growth)

2. Asking for help (the best engineers are the best at asking the right questions)

3. Being self-taught

4. Taking breaks

5. Having a non-traditional background

6. Not knowing what a “standup” is

7. Building at their own pace

8. Not pushing to GitHub every day (especially when they’re learning locally or prioritizing deep work)

Closing Thoughts:

This isn’t to discount the work of software engineers who hold senior, staff, or principal titles, those who speak at conferences, or those who mentor others. It’s not to say you shouldn’t learn new languages, reverse a linked list, accept a FAANG offer, or lead a tech book club.

It’s just to say: if you haven’t done those things (yet), that doesn’t mean you’re any less capable or competent than someone who has.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: in yoga, I learned from instructor Anna Greenberg that yoga isn’t about nailing every pose — it’s about finding your edge and gently pushing past it.

Software engineering is the same way. So keep digging deep and don’t let the fact that you’re on a journey stop you, because the journey never really stops.

I’ll be diving deeper into some of these ideas in future posts, but I wanted to start by getting these thoughts out there.

Let me know if you’ve got anything to add — we’re unlearning this together. 🧠✨