Anger isn't real. You made it up!

We Fabricate our emotions more than we think!

• Imagine you're at a fine dining restaurant.

  • You order your food and wait. A passing waiter accidentally spills coffee on you.

  • Instantly, you yell at him. You tell yourself, it was his fault, your emotions took over.

  • But be honest, if you really cannot control your emotions and anger, would stabbing him be okay? What really happened was you unknowingly fabricated anger to assert dominance.

• If emotions were truly uncontrollable, any offense committed in anger could be excused and no one would be responsible.

  It’s not that you mustn’t get angry, but that there is no need to rely on the tool of anger.

• Another real-life example that completely changed how I view anger.

  • A mother, yelling angrily at her daughter. The phone rings, mother picks up the phone and changes her tone and becomes very polite.

  • As soon as she hangs up, she goes back to yelling again.

  • Why do you think she does this? To assert dominance through anger and emotions.

The mother isn’t yelling in anger she cannot control. She is simply using the anger to overpower her daughter with a loud voice and thereby assert her opinions

Think about a situation from your childhood, where you or someone you knew were yelled at, and try to relate with the above statement.

It might sound far-fetched, but we do this more than we’d like to admit. We fabricate our emotions based on what we want.

Anger is a form of communication, and communication is nevertheless possible without using anger.

• What’s the Solution to this then?

  • Acceptance. Accept yourself the way you are. Anytime you get angry remind yourself that you are fabricating. Confront the people who are angry in a polite tone and tell them that this conversation can go in a pleasant way without anger as well.

• The point of this newsletter is not to tell you that emotions are fake and fabricated. They are not.

• The point here is to make you realize, emotions are tools, you should be in-charge of them and not the other way around.

Ask yourself and be brutally honest with yourself:

• Has anger ever truly improved a situation? Or being calm and collected would have served better?

• Do emotions cloud your daily decisions or lead to regret?

• What steps can you take to stay ahead of your emotions, not behind them?

I am not telling you to stop in one day, but take little steps, one at a time and realize that you are in charge over here. Not your emotions!

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Thank you for reading and reaching this far! Share this with your friends, family and anyone you think this might help.

This is Pratyay Dhond at your service.
Give me all the critiques you can think of! Don't hold anything back. After all,

“The dread of criticism is the death of genius.” —William Gilmore Simms’