How I Cope with Anxiety: Reflections from a Chinese Immigrant in the UK

Over the past three and a half years—since I made the difficult decision to resign from my job in China and pursue a full-time role in my field here in the UK—I’ve experienced many different forms of anxiety. These weren’t just fleeting moments of worry, but long-lasting mental loops tied to uncertainty, identity, and survival.

I’ve come to understand that anxiety can be divided into two broad categories: objective and subjective.

Objective anxiety often stems from real-world issues—things like money, legal status, visa restrictions, or health problems. For overseas Chinese like me, identity-related anxiety is especially intense. When your right to live in a country is constantly questioned or dependent on a visa, it's hard not to feel unstable. Financial pressure can also compound these feelings, especially when you’re far from family or without a safety net.

Subjective anxiety, on the other hand, is more internal. It’s about how we see ourselves and compare ourselves to others. I grew up in an environment where comparison was common—even though I had a warm, close-knit circle, the broader societal pressure to succeed and stand out was intense. When I was at my lowest point—jobless, far from home, and uncertain about my future—it was easy to feel like I was falling behind compared to former classmates or colleagues. This kind of mindset can create a vicious cycle: the more you compare, the more anxious you feel, and the harder it becomes to focus on your own path.

Some forms of anxiety are solvable. For example, appearance-related worries can often be improved with self-care or lifestyle changes. But others—like unresolved emotional issues with close family members—are much harder to fix. I’ve learned that not all relationships can be healed, especially if that bond wasn’t formed during childhood or adolescence. If a family member is emotionally distant or critical, and there’s no mutual effort to bridge the gap, sometimes it’s healthier to let go of expectations. Not every relationship can be repaired—sometimes, the kindest path is to accept the distance and continue life with mutual respect but emotional independence.

My personal journey also included health-related anxieties. At one point, a doctor suspected I might have cancer. I went through surgery and pathology testing, and thankfully, it turned out to be a benign tumor. But during that time, I struggled with insomnia, emotional fatigue, and fear. It taught me that some anxieties will fade once the problem is resolved, while others—especially the psychological ones—require internal work and long-term strategies.

Now, I believe I have a more balanced coping system. For example:

• For external, solvable stress (like job hunting or visa concerns), I try to take action and trust that solving the root issue will naturally ease the anxiety.

• For subjective or chronic anxiety, I shift my focus. Meeting new friends, exploring hobbies, reading, or watching thought-provoking films helps me see the bigger picture—that there’s a vast world full of meaning beyond my current struggles.

• When dealing with breakups or emotional pain, I’ve learned that the best healing comes not just from time, but from meeting someone more compatible and emotionally supportive. A better relationship can bring closure and growth.

• When I find myself in a toxic or unproductive environment, I try to change the environment rather than blame myself. I look for opportunities in “greener pastures,” where the resources and mindset align better with my goals.

• Most importantly, I believe in building a warm, trustworthy circle—being kind, sincere, and supportive to friends and loved ones. A small, safe community makes a big difference.

One lesson stands out: when I have a clear goal, and I know I’m doing everything I can to work toward it, anxiety doesn’t feel so overwhelming. Even if I don’t reach the goal right away, there’s no deep regret—just a sense of acceptance, and the strength to move forward into the next chapter.