Mirroring: Building Instant Trust Through Listening

What is Mirroring?

• Mirroring is essentially imitation.

• We copy each other in order to comfort each other.

It can be done with speech patterns, body language, vocabulary, tempo, and tone of voice. It’s generally unconscious behavior, but it’s a sign that people are bonding, and establishing the kind of affinity that leads to trust.

Why does Mirroring Work?

• Mirroring is based on the simple principle of fearing what’s different being drawn to what is familiar.

• A mirror signals the another person’s unconscious, “Trust me, You & I are alike.“

Steps to be a good Mirror?

• a mirror is when you repeat the last three words (or the critical one to three words) of what someone has just said.

• By repeating back what people say, you trigger this mirroring instinct and your counterpart and inevitably elaborate on what was just said and sustain the process of connecting.

An example conversation

John: "I’ve been feeling really stressed at work lately. It’s just nonstop."
Jane: "Nonstop stress at work."
John: "Yeah, like every time I finish one thing, something else pops up."
Jane: "One thing after another."
John: "Exactly. It’s exhausting."
Jane: "Exhausting."
John: "Sometimes I just want to walk away from it all."
Jane: "I know how it feels to want to walk away."

• The point here is to make the other person feel listened to and understood without needing advice or solutions.

You do this correct and watch the other person open up to you in conversations like magic.

TL;DR;

• Mirroring means gently repeating someone’s words, tone, or feelings during a conversation.

• It helps the other person feel heard and understood.

• This builds comfort and trust without needing to say much.

• The key is to reflect, not to fix or give advice.

Which communication tactics in conversations work well for you? Which do not? Comment below!

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