Beyond the Complaint: Are You Really Trying to Make It Work?

Alonge AyomideAlonge Ayomide
4 min read

How often do we hear someone sigh, "This is just too much," or "I can't seem to juggle everything"? It's a common feeling, right? Like we're all just trying to keep a bunch of balls in the air, and sometimes they all come crashing down, but when I hear that, I always wonder: have we really taken a good, hard look at what's going on? Are we honestly doing the little (and big) things that could actually make things work better? And are we setting up some kind of support system to make it all a bit easier?

Think about it like this: imagine you're trying to carry a lot of heavy boxes. You could just keep saying, "It's too heavy, I can't do it." Or, you could think, "Okay, how can I make this easier?" Maybe you get a cart, or ask someone to help you with a few boxes, or decide which boxes are most important to carry first. That's what I mean by setting up systems.

Let's look at something like being a parent and having a career.

The Two Sides of the Coin: Building a Legacy at Home and Work

I know someone, let's call her Sarah. She was killing it at her job, getting promotions, the whole nine yards but whenever I talked to her, she'd mention feeling guilty about not being there enough for her kids. Then there's Mark, another person I know. He's also successful in his tech career, but he somehow manages to coach his son's soccer team and is always at his daughter's school events.

What's the difference? It's not that Sarah loves her kids less, or that Mark works fewer hours (he actually works quite a bit!). It's about how they see things. Mark doesn't put his career on a pedestal so high that everything else looks small. He sees the long game with his kids: the importance of being present, of guiding them. He sets boundaries at work when he needs to, and he's intentional about his time with his family. Sarah, on the other hand, hadn't quite figured out those systems yet.

Think about kids who become amazing at something early, like programming between 13 and 17. Often, there was a parent or mentor who really invested time and attention in them early on, when it mattered most. They didn't just hope their kid would figure it out; they actively supported their growth.

The Mirror We Avoid: Are We Truly Putting in the Effort?

The truth is, we all have the potential to make things work better but it boils down to how much importance we really place on something. How much effort are we honestly putting in? Are we being a bit selfish, focusing only on what benefits us immediately, or are we being genuinely ambitious, building something sustainable without neglecting the other important parts of our lives?

You can create those "carts" and "helpers" in your life. You can delegate tasks at work, automate bills, set reminders for important things, and learn to say "no" to things that drain you, but sometimes, we just... don't, and instead of saying, "Hey, I haven't set up those systems," we blame time and make other logical sounding excuses that like: "There just aren't enough hours in the day!" but often, it's not about time; it's about not taking the necessary steps: a kind of negligence towards setting ourselves up for success.

The Hard Truth: Accountability Starts With Us

Accountability can be tough, especially when we're the ones who need to change things. It's easier to point fingers at external factors, but think about business owners especially those sitting at the top of the hierarchy. They understand this deeply. They know their business or empire can fall apart if they ignore important aspects. That's why they hire teams, delegate responsibilities, and use their time strategically to invest in the future of their company, and often, the smart ones also realize that their personal well-being and family life are part of that long-term success.

This isn't just about careers or kids. It's about everything: your relationships, your health, your personal goals.

You probably already have a sense of what you need to do. So, the real question is, will you start doing it? You're not the first person to feel overwhelmed, and you won't be the last, but what will make a difference is whether you're willing to put in the work to find your way of making things work.

Beyond Balance: It's About Effort, Intentionality, and Systems

And people talk about "balance" all the time, like it's this perfect state we need to achieve, but maybe "balance" isn't the right word. Maybe it's more about effort, about being intentional with our time and energy, about setting clear priorities, and yes, about building those systems that support us.

So, instead of just saying, "I'm failing," maybe the first step is to ask ourselves: "What am I actually doing to make this work?"

Overwhelm is real but so is your power to build a system that helps you breathe.

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Written by

Alonge Ayomide
Alonge Ayomide

I'm a creative and driven software engineer focusing on backend engineering and systems development. I enjoy teaching and mentoring, sharing insights from my experiences to help others grow. Alongside programming, I’m an avid reader, especially of books on Python, backend principles, fiction, and business. I also love exploring emerging topics in AI.