Social Media: Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down?

In the age of viral dances, makeup tutorials, ridiculous lip-syncs, hot takes, and overshares, social media has become more than just a tool — it’s become a stage. But what happens when this stage starts rewarding the most outrageous performances, the loudest cries for attention, and the cruelest commentary? Welcome to the world of influencer exhibitionism, where “likes” are currency, and personal integrity often takes a back seat.

The Psychology of Performative Posting

Let’s break this down:
Those obsessed with social media fame — be it through Instagram thirst traps, TikTok rants, or carefully curated YouTube vlogs — often exhibit traits aligned with what psychologists call the Dark Triad: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy.

• Narcissism fuels the constant need for validation.

• Machiavellianism appears in the strategic manipulation of content to craft idealized, false personas.

• Psychopathy creeps in when empathy is sacrificed for “content” — when people film others’ pain, arguments, or even tragedies to rack up views.

It’s not that everyone with a ring light is evil. But when the algorithm rewards attention-grabbing at any cost, we start celebrating behaviors that were once considered… antisocial.

But there’s another layer here — a deeper wound, often unspoken: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

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Where BPD Fits In

Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder often experience:

• An unstable sense of self

• Fear of abandonment

• Emotional volatility

• A deep craving for validation and connection

This emotional landscape, when filtered through the lens of social media, can become dangerous — not only for the individual with BPD, but for those around them.

Posting can become an emotional lifeline, a way to control how others see them, seek reassurance, or punish those who they feel have hurt or abandoned them.
In extreme cases, platforms are used to shame ex-partners, create victim narratives, or initiate cyberbullying campaigns disguised as “truth-telling.”

If you’ve witnessed this — or experienced it firsthand — you’re not alone.

👉 Read: What is an Emotional Crashout in BPD?
👉 Read: Healing from BPD — For Both Sides of the Relationship
👉 Read: The Awfulness of Cyberbullying and Social Media Weaponization

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What This Says About America

We live in a culture that’s confused visibility with value. America’s obsession with celebrity has metastasized into something darker: we no longer just idolize stars — we all want to be one. But with fame no longer requiring talent, skill, or even authenticity, we get a society where the fastest path to relevance is often through spectacle, drama, or cruelty. Now, fame requires no talent — just algorithmic manipulation and a willingness to trade dignity for dopamine.

We’re raising a generation that believes:

“If it didn’t get posted, it didn’t happen.”

Social norms, once maintained through face-to-face connection and empathy, erode when everyone sees each other as competition, or worse — as “content.”

The Breakdown of Social Norms

Consider what’s now normalized:

• Filming strangers during vulnerable moments without consent.

• Doxxing, cyber-bullying, and public shaming as a form of justice.

• Glorifying reckless behavior — from pranks to stunts — all for engagement.

Influencer culture pushes an implicit message: "Your life is only valuable if other people are watching."
That’s dangerous. Especially for young minds still forming their identity and morality.

Cyberbullying & the Weaponization of Social Media

The darker side of this performative culture is how easily it enables targeted harassment. People turn platforms into battlegrounds, using call-outs, smear campaigns, and gossip-laced videos to attack exes, former friends, or ideological opponents — often under the guise of "truth-telling."

Because the more outrageous or emotional the post, the more engagement it garners.
Empathy doesn’t go viral. Rage does.

We’ve created an online environment that incentivizes cruelty, not connection.

So Why Are People So Obsessed with Posting?

Because social media gives the illusion of control and significance. In a world where people feel powerless or unseen, a post — a "like" — is a digital nod that says: you matter.

But this can quickly become addictive. The dopamine hit of positive feedback conditions users to chase the next hit — leading to increasingly extreme content to keep the audience fed.

It’s not connection. It’s performance.
And the longer we pretend this is harmless, the more we’ll see a generation shaped not by values — but by virality.

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Final Thoughts

Social media isn’t inherently evil. But influencer culture, left unchecked, warps our sense of self and society. We need to ask hard questions about what we’re rewarding — and what kind of people we’re creating.

We can’t rebuild compassion while algorithms reward cruelty.
We can’t foster integrity while attention becomes a drug.

Maybe it’s time to stop performing — and start connecting.