How it started 🔰

This one hits close to home for me. I started working from home about five years ago, and at first, it was great! I could work in my pajamas and eat lunch with friends and family. I could make myself a nice home-cooked meal; no more bagged sandwiches or takeout!

I’ve always been a big fan of not having to drive into work and being able to shower after work. I used to think morning showers were great, but just wait until you try a before-bedtime shower; now that’s relaxing!

Back in 2019, I decided to move back home. I had been working in an office for most of my life, but both my family and I wanted to be closer to our parents, about two hours away. I was fortunate that my job let me continue to work remotely. This worked well for several years while I was a lead engineer. However, nothing lasts forever, and in 2022, I decided to change careers. I’d always been interested in a more programming-centric role, and I was lucky enough to find a cloud consulting company that took me on.

So, I took the plunge into the world of DevOps and traded my SIP desk phone for a MacBook M1. The desk looks nicer that way, anyway. 😅

Another big change: the company I joined is fully remote; no office, period (at least for the dev team). This is great for me because I never have to worry about “return to office” policies, also known as “we don’t know how to measure productivity” or “if I can’t see you, I can’t control you, and then what do I do all day?” I’m a little spicy about this, as my social media will attest. Anyway…

A nice benefit of working at a cloud consulting company is making my own hours. For someone like me, who’s not only a night owl but also suffers from really bad insomnia, this works out well for both my mental and physical health; but we’ll come back to this later. I make all my meetings and our daily standup, and if we have anything early, I’ll wake up for those if needed. This can be a blessing and a curse.

Fast forward five years, and here I am, writing this article after learning a thing or two; not just about working from home, but about how to better take care of myself.

How it’s going ⏩

If you’ve read other articles on my blog, you’ll know I’m a big fan of tooling and software. With my undergrad in psychology and sociology, I’ve tried to combine these interests to help my mental health and manage a serious case of ADHD. The apps I list here are just half the picture; they help reinforce good habits and self-reflection. The other, bigger half is what you do in the real world to handle stress and turmoil. Finding the right balance is always tough for neurodivergent folks, and finding ikigai is even harder!

So, real talk time...

Depression can and will take the joy from your life if you let it. That doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. They say stress is a killer, but if you look at a few studies, you’ll find that burnout has a very real impact on health too. It almost took the life of someone in my family at age 50! Even with all this evidence, it’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day.

Mental Health Tools 🧠

Here are a few soft skills and mental health patterns to look out for. You can’t fix a problem until you recognize you have one. ❤

Stages of Burnout

Compulsion to Prove Oneself: Constantly feeling the need to validate your worth and overextending yourself.
Working Harder: Unable to disconnect, often working during off-hours and taking on too many tasks.
Neglecting Needs: Forgetting basic needs like eating or socializing, prioritizing work over well-being.
Displacement of Conflicts: Avoiding issues, attributing problems to “just stress,” and becoming defensive.
Revision of Values: Work dominates your personal life, overshadowing relationships and interests.
Denial of Problems: Blaming others and overlooking your own increasing stress and irritability.
Withdrawal: Preferring solitude, avoiding social events, possibly turning to substances for comfort.
Odd Behavioral Changes: Acting out of character, with noticeable mood swings or impulsive decisions.
Depersonalization: Feeling detached, viewing achievements as just tasks.
Inner Emptiness: Feeling a void, resorting to various means to fill it—this is a sign you need help.
Depression: Constantly drained, hopeless about the future, struggling with motivation.
Burnout Syndrome: At a critical point, feeling overwhelmed and possibly experiencing severe anxiety.

Signs You’ve Hit Burnout

You’re easily irritated.
You feel completely unmotivated, even for things you normally enjoy.
You’re experiencing anxiety or panic attacks.
You’re having trouble sleeping; either it takes hours to fall asleep, or your sleep is broken throughout the night.
You have almost no patience and find yourself being short with colleagues and family.
You’re experiencing indigestion; low-grade stomach aches or constant “butterflies.”
You start crying unexpectedly.
You feel detached from reality, going through your days without emotional connection.
You feel empty.

Digital Tools 📱

Here are three applications that have helped me build healthy habits and communication skills. They may or may not work for you, but I also recommend keeping a physical notebook for decompressing. These ones from Amazon are great for short breaks!

HowWeFeel (Mood Tracker)

https://howwefeel.org/

A great app for daily check-ins. I’ve been using it for a few months; while it hasn’t directly changed my life, it has a nice feature for sharing your mood with close friends. You can also write mini diary entries (stored locally) to record how you’re feeling in the moment.

Diaro (Diary)

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.pixelcrater.Diaro

I struggled for years to find the right diary app. I tried Google Keep, Word documents, markdown files; none quite fit. For me, it had to be private, easy to use, and able to record a decent amount of metadata. Diaro is cross-platform (iOS, Android, web), uses Dropbox for sync (so your notes don’t touch random servers), and lets you add photos with automatic date/location updates. Great for documenting after the fact.

GymRun (Exercise)

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.imperon.android.gymapp

When COVID hit, I decided to get back in shape. Over two years, I put on muscle and lost weight. Cardio and running were key at first, but long-term, weightlifting was my focus. I tried a dozen workout apps, but most were clunky or filled with ads. GymRun is perfect for nerds; it tracks every stat you could want and syncs with Google Fit/HealthConnect to track calories.

Additional Info

While writing this article, I started compiling a list of “Good Reads” that might benefit readers. The list kept growing, so I moved it to my “must reads” section on my blog.

Wrapping it up 🎁

I know this is a lot to take in, especially for those struggling right now. I hope what I’ve shared helps even one person feel less alone, or gives you a nudge to check in with yourself (or someone you care about). Burnout is sneaky; it creeps up on you, and sometimes you don’t realize how deep in it you are until you’re running on empty. If any of this resonated, remember: you’re not broken, you’re not lazy, and you absolutely deserve rest and support.

Take it from someone who’s been there: it’s okay to step back, ask for help, and put yourself first sometimes. The world will keep spinning, and you’ll be better for it. If you need a sign to take a break, this is it. Be kind to yourself, reach out if you need to, and remember: healing isn’t linear, but every small step counts.

Thanks for reading, and take care of yourself. 💛

Additional Resources 📚

Mental Health Resources

Worldwide Directory: https://findahelpline.com/i/iasp
International Directory: https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

Places to Find a Therapist

Cover by Irhan Prabasukma

How to Identify and Heal Burnout from Work