The Second Is Not the First to Lose

As I wrote my previous post on finding what you love, a recurring thought kept surfacing:

“The second is the first to lose.”

I’ve always hated that phrase. It’s the kind of idea that gets repeated until we stop questioning it. But I do. I question it deeply.

For me, it represents something broken — an outdated mindset that only one can win, that everything else is a waste. That if you’re not standing at the top, you may as well not have shown up. And that couldn’t be more wrong.

A few days ago, I watched the final of the EuroBasket Women’s Championship. Spain played against Belgium. Spain wasn’t supposed to be there. They weren’t the favorites. In fact, statistically, they weren’t even supposed to make it past the earlier rounds. But they fought. Hard. They played each match with grit, unity, and incredible heart — the kind of performance that defines sport at its best. They made it to the final.

They were on top for most of the match. It came down to the final seconds — a single basket. A heartbeat. That’s how they "lost". That is how basketball is. That is how our society is.

But they didn’t lose. They achieved something extraordinary. They overcame odds, inspired fans, and showed a level of excellence that deserves celebration. Not pity. Not a quiet mention between a weather forecast and the latest from Real Madrid CF.

And yet, the next day, barely anyone was there to greet them. Just a few family members. The headlines? “Sad defeat for Spain’s women’s basketball team.” Then silence. Then soccer (again).

This is where our values feel upside down.

In a society that claims to celebrate diversity, inclusion, and equity — especially for women, LGTBIQ+, or other underrepresented groups — we need to rethink what we reward and what we recognize. Not just in politics or policy, but in the narratives we build.

Sport isn't just about winning. It's about courage. It's about progress. It’s about doing what you love — and doing it with everything you've got, even when the scoreboard doesn't agree with you. That should be enough to command our attention and admiration.

Exactly like the professional who has found his passion and manages to support his family and the families of his coworkers, that professional who will never get invited to Stanford has a lot of merit that should be celebrated.

And while I’m here — a quick vote on another cultural bias: Why do we keep calling rain “bad weather”?

Seriously. I like it when it rains. It makes things grow. It quiets the world. Not every cloudy day is a problem to fix. Some of them are exactly what we need.

Maybe that’s the point.

We need to redefine what we call a win. What we call success. What we call good or bad.

Because sometimes, the team that “lost” the match won something much more meaningful.

And sometimes, a little rain is exactly what reminds us to look up. 🌧️