When I started learning how to code, I was excited like genuinely thrilled to create things from scratch and bring my ideas to life. I imagined the day I’d build entire websites on my own, solve bugs in minutes, and be called a “real developer.” But somewhere along the way, that excitement started to get tangled up with fear.

Fear that I didn’t know enough.
Fear that I didn’t belong.
Fear that everyone else was moving faster than me.

I didn’t expect to feel so small in a world full of people who seemed so confident.

💭 Shame is Loud When You're Just Starting

No one prepares you for the shame that sometimes comes with being a beginner.
You open your editor, ready to build you’ve even mapped out the whole project in your head but suddenly, it doesn’t feel smooth anymore. You get stuck. You hesitate. You second-guess your next step.

And so, the spiral begins:
“Why am I struggling with this?”
“Shouldn’t I know this by now?”
“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”

That voice the one that whispers you’re not enough it gets loud.
Especially when you find yourself Googling more than actually coding.

🧠 But Let’s Be Real — Googling is Part of the Process

This one took me a while to accept: Googling doesn’t make you less of a developer.
It doesn’t mean you’re not learning or not smart.
It means you’re resourceful. It means you’re trying.

Some of the most seasoned developers I’ve spoken to still look up basic syntax, search error messages, and re-read docs they’ve seen a dozen times before.

You don’t need to have all the answers in your head to be valid in this field.

⚙️ It’s Not Always Smooth — and That’s Okay

I used to plan out entire projects in Notion, in my notebook, even in my mind. But when it came time to actually code, the pieces wouldn’t fit together the way I imagined. I’d freeze. I’d get frustrated. I'd feel like I was starting from scratch all over again.

And that’s the truth no one told me early on: building takes time. Coding is problem-solving. It’s messy. It’s trial and error. And it’s okay if your journey doesn’t look polished from the outside.

🚫 Stop Shrinking Your Progress

Sometimes I find myself downplaying my effort:
“Oh, it’s just a small project.”
“I’m still learning, it’s not a big deal.”
“People out there are doing way more impressive stuff.”

But that’s not fair not to me, and not to the effort I’ve put in. Every bug I fixed. Every line of code I didn’t understand but Googled anyway. Every time I kept going instead of giving up that’s all growth.

Just because you’re not where others are yet doesn’t mean you’re not on your way.

👯 You’re Not Alone — and You’re Not Behind

If you’re reading this and nodding along just know, you’re not the only one feeling this.
That fear, that shame, that voice that says you’re not good enough? You’re not alone in that. But you don’t have to stay stuck in it either.

Being a beginner doesn’t make you weak it makes you brave.
You’re showing up to something new. You’re learning. You’re trying. That matters.

💛 Final Words to Myself and to You

To anyone just starting out:
You don’t need to know everything. You don’t need to be the fastest. You don’t need to impress anyone.

You just need to keep going. Keep learning. Keep showing up.

Even when it’s hard.
Even when you feel small.
Even when you’re scared.

Because every expert you admire?
They were once right where you are in the beginner blues, pushing through.

And so am I and you.
We still learning. Still growing. Still here.
And that’s more than enough.

💬 Let’s Talk

Have you ever felt this way? Let’s remind each other that being a beginner is something to be proud of. Drop a comment or DM we’re in this together.

🌧️ The Beginner Blues: Fighting Fear, Shame, and Self-Doubt as a New Developer