Strong or Weak? It’s All About What You Choose to See

I’ve worked with hundreds of students, professionals, and community leaders in my role leading experiential learning projects — and I’ve noticed something fascinating:

Two people can look at the same situation, the same failure, the same opportunity, the same mentor, and walk away with completely different outcomes.

Why?

Because one is focused on judgment, the other on growth.

Let me explain.

Some people notice someone’s mistake and laugh.

Others notice and learn from it.

Some people gossip to build a fake connection.

Others express vulnerability to build a real connection.

Some people envy those who are ahead of them.

Others study them to learn.

Same situation. Different focus.

It’s not that one person is strong and the other weak; it’s what they choose to focus on that determines everything.

During an internship, I was grouped into one of three project teams.

At first, I thought we had hit the jackpot; one of our team members seemed to know everything. During our initial chats, he shared ideas confidently, and I felt relieved. “We’re covered,” I thought. I relaxed.

But after the first meeting… he disappeared. No message. No warning. Just gone.

Suddenly, our team was down to two: me and one other guy — my Gee — who still works on projects with me to this day.

At first, I panicked. This internship was competitive. Every team was moving fast. I looked at the project requirements and thought, There’s no way we’ll meet up.

I started feeling bad. I had let my guard down too quickly because I believed we had it easy. I didn’t prepare for the storm. And now we were in it, two of us doing what was meant for three.

But that experience taught me something powerful.

I didn’t make the same mistake twice.

I quickly reached out to the one teammate left and said:

"Bro, we need to make this work. I’ll do whatever it takes, let’s go."

I followed up like my life depended on it. We planned, strategized, split the work, and stayed up late.

And guess what?

The two of us competed against full teams, and we did well.

We didn’t whine. We didn’t blame.

We showed up. Learned. Built. Delivered.

You are not born “weak” or “strong.”

You become one or the other based on where you place your focus:

Weak people use others’ mistakes to feel better about themselves.

Strong people use others’ mistakes to improve themselves.

Weak people talk.

Strong people take notes.

Weak people follow their ego.

Strong people follow curiosity.

And what’s wild is that both groups are watching the same thing. The only difference is the lens.

Next time you’re in a room and someone makes a mistake…

Don’t laugh.

Lean in.

Don’t gossip.

Ask questions.

Don’t envy.

Observe, take notes, and grow.

Because when you stop judging and start learning, the world opens up. People trust you. Leaders notice you. Doors start to open.
When your safety net disappears, your work ethic must show up.

• When people walk away, you don’t fold — you refocus.

• And when life throws a gap at you, you either complain… or build a bridge.

I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, from leading teams, failing publicly, rebuilding trust, and watching people rise from places others ignored.

The fastest way to rise isn’t by being the smartest person in the room.

It’s by being the most humble learner in the room.

Choose your lens.

It could change everything.