Choosing the Right Therapist: Where to Start When You Don’t Know What You Need

Starting therapy can feel overwhelming. Especially when you’re not even sure what kind of help you need. Do you need to talk one-on-one with someone? Should your partner or family be involved? Would a group setting be more helpful? With so many therapy options and professionals out there, the difficult question is “What type of therapist do I need?”. But the good news is: you don’t need to have it all figured out right away.

In this guide, we’ll break down the main types of therapy—individual, couples, family, and group therapy. This will help you understand what each one offers and how to choose what’s right for your situation.

Step 1: Understand That You’re Not Alone

First things first: it’s completely normal to feel uncertain about what kind of therapy you need. Mental health concerns can be confusing, and many people don’t have a clear diagnosis when they first seek help. You don’t need to label your experience perfectly before reaching out. In fact, helping you figure that out is part of a therapist’s job.

A good first step is to reflect on the main issue or feeling that brought you here. Is it stress, anxiety, relationship struggles, family conflict, grief, or something else? From there, let’s explore which kind of therapy might match your situation.

Step 2: Know the Types of Therapy Available

Here’s a breakdown of the four common therapy formats and what they’re best suited for:

1. Individual Therapy

What it is: One-on-one sessions between you and a licensed therapist is known as Individual therapy.

Best for:

• Anxiety, depression, trauma, grief

• Stress management and burnout

• Personal growth and self-esteem

• Life transitions (e.g., job loss, moving, divorce)

• Unpacking past experiences or childhood issues

What to expect: You’ll talk privately with a therapist who helps you explore thoughts, emotions, and behavior patterns. Depending on your goals, your therapist may use approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness techniques, or others.

Why choose this: If you're feeling overwhelmed, confused, or simply need a safe space to talk, this is usually the best place to start.

2. Couples Therapy

What it is: Therapy sessions involving you and your partner, guided by a therapist trained in relationship dynamics.

Best for:

• Communication breakdowns

• Trust issues, infidelity

• Emotional distance or conflict

• Pre-marital counseling

• Navigating life changes together (e.g., parenting, career shifts)

What to expect: The therapist facilitates honest conversations and helps both partners express their needs, understand each other’s perspectives, and rebuild connection. They remain neutral, not taking sides and guide you toward healthier patterns.

Why choose this: If your relationship is the primary source of stress or confusion, and you both are willing to work on it, couples therapy is the right direction.

3. Family Therapy

What it is: Sessions that include multiple family members such as parents, siblings, or children with a therapist focusing on family dynamics are known as family therapies.

Best for:

• Parent-child conflict

• Divorce or blended family issues

• Addiction or mental illness affecting the family

• Behavioral issues in children or teens

• Generational communication problems

What to expect: A family therapist helps identify unhealthy patterns and teaches the family new ways of relating and solving problems. Each member has a voice, and the focus is on improving the overall functioning of the family unit.

Why choose this: When family issues are at the core of your distress—or when one person’s struggles affect everyone—this approach can be transformative.

4. Group Therapy

What it is: A therapist-led group of people (usually 5–12) who meet regularly to share experiences and support one another.

Best for:

• Anxiety, depression, or PTSD

• Substance use or addiction recovery

• Social skills building

• Grief and loss

• Life transitions (e.g., chronic illness, divorce)

What to expect: Group members typically have similar concerns. You’ll listen, share when comfortable, and receive support and feedback from others who "get it." The therapist ensures a safe and respectful environment.

Why choose this: If you feel isolated, want peer support, or can benefit from shared stories and mutual accountability, group therapy can be deeply empowering.

Step 3: Identify Your Primary Concern

Still not sure where to start? Try answering these questions:

• Am I struggling mostly with my own thoughts or emotions? → Start with individual therapy

• Is my relationship or marriage under strain? → Try couples therapy

• Are family dynamics or parenting issues overwhelming? → Look into family therapy

• Do I feel alone in my struggle and want to connect with others who understand? → Consider group therapy

You don’t have to commit to one forever—therapy can evolve as your needs do. It’s common to start with individual therapy and later explore couples or family sessions if it makes sense.

Step 4: Consider Practical Factors

Once you have a general idea of what kind of therapy might suit you, consider the following:

• Availability: Do you prefer in-person sessions, or would online therapy work better for you?

• Insurance & Budget: What does your health plan cover? Are there affordable sliding-scale options?

• Therapist Style: Do you prefer someone more structured, empathetic, or solution-focused?

• Cultural Fit: Are you looking for a therapist who understands your cultural background, language, or identity?

Many therapists offer a free 15-minute consultation call. Use this to ask questions, gauge comfort, and get a sense of their style.

Step 5: Take the First Step—Even If It’s Just One

If you’re still uncertain, that’s okay. You don’t have to find the “perfect” therapist right away. The most important thing is to take action. Reach out to a mental health clinic, primary care provider, or use an online platform to schedule an initial session.

Remember: therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Sometimes it takes trying one or two therapists before finding the right match—and that’s completely normal.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve Support

Feeling unsure at the beginning of your mental health journey doesn’t mean you’re lost—it means you’re human. The fact that you’re exploring therapy is already a powerful first step toward healing and growth.

Whether you start with individual, couples, family, or group therapy, what matters most is that you start. A therapist can help guide you the rest of the way.
Need help finding a therapist? You can search on platforms like Psychology Today, TherapyRoute, or check local mental health directories. Trust your instincts—and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Help is out there.