🧠 The Cyberdumb Manifesto

How Not to Learn Cybersecurity and Still Survive Among Humans

"Yippee Ki-Yay, nerds. Screw your Hot16s. This is the Suicide Challenge of Cybersec."

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📍 Introduction:

Hi. I'm Kernel Panic.

I live in a digital basement. I don't know what I'm doing. I just kind of do it anyway.

This isn't a guide. This is a warning. If you're here looking for a professional take on cybersecurity — go back. You're in the wrong alley, my friend.

This is what happens when a value convoy driver decides to go Red Team rogue armed only with Linux, insomnia, and unresolved emotional damage.

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🕳️ How It Started:

– Got tired of life on the road.

– Bought a 390zł ThinkPad from 2013.

– Installed Pop!_OS because why not.

– Started hacking Juice Shop before learning what HTTP means.

– Accidentally popped XSS. Celebrated like I breached the Pentagon.

No formal training. No bootcamps. Just pain, Google, and vibes.

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💀 Tools of the Trade:

- Termux on phone

- Pop!_OS on old laptop

- Obsidian for notes

- GitHub for fake flex [https://github.com/Kernel-Panic-Kill-Init]

- Hashnode to scream into the cybervoid

- Discord": kernel.panic.kill.init

- Dream: make Blue Teams cry

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📖 The (Anti)Roadmap:

| Week | Activity | Description |

|------|----------|-------------|

| 1 | Bandit CTF | "Why are there so many directories and why are they yelling at me in base64?" |

| 2 | Learn chmod| Still don’t know what the fuck a sticky bit does |

| 3 | Recon on TryHackMe | Peeking under websites’ skirts. Ethically. I swear. |

| 4 | GitHub portfolio | Looks fancy. Actually nonsense. Still – aesthetic. |

| 5 | Wrote this blog | Regret was immediate. |

| 6 | Waiting for clients | Hello? Anyone? Hire me? I have memes. |

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🧂 Life Lessons from the Digital Gutter:

- If you can’t explain a concept “like to a 5-year-old with brain damage,” you don’t get it.

- Tools are easy. Mindset is hard.

- The only OS truly secure is one that isn’t powered on.

- Your first XSS popup will feel like your first kiss. But illegal.

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🧬 My Learning Philosophy™:

- No talent? No problem.

- Understand why, not just how.

- Use humor as a learning weapon.

- Be consistently inconsistent.

- Don’t take this field too seriously unless you're actually getting paid.

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🔗 Find Me in the Abyss:

- 🧠 Blog: [https://cybersec-dla-idioty.hashnode.dev/](https://cybersec-dla-idioty.hashnode.dev/)

- 💻 GitHub: [https://github.com/kernel-panic-kill-init](https://github.com/kernel-panic-kill-init)

- 🕴️ LinkedIn: [https://www.linkedin.com/in/filipluka/](https://www.linkedin.com/in/filipluka/)

- 💬 Discord: `kernel.panic.kill.init`

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🧨 Final Words:

If you’re reading this and nodding like, “fuck, that’s me” — welcome, brother-in-chaos.

We are the meme lords of the infosec underground.

We came here with no skills, no plan, and too much anxiety.

But we learn. Relentlessly. Badly. Stupidly.

And one day, they’ll fear us.

Until then — happy hacking.

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✍️ _Written by a guy who once thought `sudo` was a kind of sushi._

👻 _Translated from Polish with zero grace._