A month has elapsed. Today, I've chosen to recount my experience as a cautionary tale. Let my story serve as your lesson: never gamble!

On June 2nd, the Backpack S1 season had concluded a few days prior. I possessed $135,000 in cash and suddenly felt somewhat idle with nothing to occupy my time.

I reasoned, since hedging on Backpack was no longer possible, perhaps I should attempt short-term trading on Lighter. Maybe I could expand my capital slightly before S2 commenced.

Then I embarked on gambling with contracts. My positions grew increasingly larger. At $1 million per position, a 1% fluctuation equated to $10,000 — utterly exhilarating.

🔸 On the first day, by evening, I had incurred a $25,000 loss. My capital dwindled to $110,000.

I resolved that the next day I would exercise caution, avoiding blind high-frequency trading. If I could earn $5,000 daily, I could recover within a week!

🔹 On the second day, I gained over $4,000. I felt quietly pleased. I thought, in a week I would return to breakeven and genuinely quit. No more gambling.

🔸 On the third day, I awoke with an urge to trade. Before 8 a.m., I initiated a position in ETH and immediately became trapped. It was agonizing. I stared at the figures, sweating, watching the stop-loss approach, enduring torment all day.

By nightfall, the stop-loss activated once more. Another $25,000 vanished. Strangely, being stopped out brought relief — akin to a prisoner awaiting execution finally releasing false hope. The actual outcome felt like liberation.

🔹 On the fourth day, $95,000 remained. I sensed profound mental exhaustion. Yet, I still yearned to recover. I desired to reclaim my losses. So I opened another trade.

At noon, a shorting opportunity arose, but I hesitated and refrained from entering. Around 2 p.m., I anticipated a rebound and went long — only to be trapped again. By 5 p.m., I was stopped out, forfeiting another $10,000. Only $85,000 was left.

Then, I went all-in. I observed ETH breach support and shorted via my phone at 6 p.m., without a stop-loss! I shorted at the absolute bottom. On my way home, I continuously stared at my device, observing the price rebound. Sweat poured incessantly.

But I convinced myself, "It's ranged so long — if it drops 7% tonight, I'll recover everything. I must hold! I must endure!"

By 8:30 p.m., I pretended to watch TV in the living room but couldn't concentrate. I checked my phone every minute, monitoring price fluctuations.

By 9 p.m., ETH had rebounded nearly $30. My losses mounted further. I completely shattered. My mind went numb.

I rushed to the bedroom, desperate to close the position. Lighter informed me mobile access was restricted in my region. Frantically, I switched VPN nodes on another phone, attempting every method to close that stop-loss-free short.

When I finally closed it, relief washed over me. In mere days, I had squandered over ¥500,000. I collapsed onto the bed, unable to utter a word, and drifted into a haze before 10 p.m.

🔸 On the fifth day, at 7 a.m., I instinctively checked the price. ETH had plummeted 7.6%. I didn't know the reason then (it emerged Musk had a fallout with Trump).

If only I hadn't closed that short... it would have mirrored my prior night's vision — a 7% crash and I'd have recouped everything.

But life offers no "if." No second chances. You simply confront the consequences.

That was my inaugural week of June. Following that day, I didn't consume a proper meal for 7 or 8 days. Each meal consisted of two bites of vegetables. No appetite. Depressed. Mentally shattered.

Now, reflecting, it feels like fate toying with me. Even glancing at K-lines now induces nausea — physical sickness.

What did I gain? Perhaps Lighter awarded me 310 points that week — my all-time peak score.

But I'm grateful for that ordeal a month ago. Now, if a position lacks hedging, I feel ill. I'm finished with contracts. I've abandoned gambling.

✅ People survive because we cling to hope.

Thanks to mental coach @Metabape and the wise bro @dominolu for guiding me from the shadows. Life is lengthy. I retain a bit of capital. I still hold @Backpack_CN points. I can still rebuild through farming. As long as I breathe, hope persists. If we learn from our errors, we mature.

Let's strive together and attain financial freedom in two cycles. With my bros, no more gambling, no retreating!

Let's go!

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