Stop Escaping, Start Creating: The Coaching Mindset @MarcelvanGemerden Brings to Men Who Want More

Do you ever feel like you’re just getting through life? You wake up, go through the motions, check all the boxes—but deep down, you know you’re not really living.

For many men, this feeling isn’t rare. It’s the silent reality of survival mode. You keep yourself busy to avoid what’s really going on inside. You run away from things like work, distractions, or even criticizing yourself. But here's the truth: You're not trapped because you're broken. You’re stuck because you haven’t been shown how to consciously create the life you want.

I’m Marcel van Gemerden, and I help men shift from passive survival into intentional living. This isn’t about quick fixes or becoming a “better man.” It’s about uncovering the clarity, confidence, and direction you already have—but have been disconnected from.

Let's look at ways to quit running away and start making things.

Most men are stuck in "Escape Mode." The first step is to be aware of it.

Escape mode doesn’t always look like dramatic self-destruction. Often, it’s subtle. It’s scrolling endlessly, overworking, staying busy with tasks that don’t fulfill you, or numbing out with entertainment. These habits give temporary relief but lead to a deeper disconnection from yourself.

Most men are taught to “man up,” push through discomfort, and hide vulnerability. The problem? You end up performing a life you don’t even want—just to keep up appearances.

Ask yourself:

1. Am I filling my time just to avoid uncomfortable feelings?

2. Do I feel disconnected from what I actually want?

3. Am I constantly waiting for a “better time” to make changes?

If you answered yes, it’s time to shift.

The Power of Shifting to Creation Mode

Creation mode isn’t about doing more. It's about having clear goals and doing the correct things. When you think like a creator, you take charge of where your life is going. You don't force things to happen, but you do what matters to you.

You don't have to quit your job or alter everything right away if you think this way. It starts with tiny but dramatic changes:

1. From responding to life to planning life.

2. From pushing down feelings to dealing with them and learning from them.

3. From looking for approval from others to finding peace inside yourself.

How Men Can Start Living Their Lives on Purpose

Here's a step-by-step plan I employ with my coaching clients to help them get out of survival mode:

1. Make room for being honest with yourself

You can't make anything new if your head is full of noise and avoidance. Make time every day for 10 to 15 minutes of honest thought. No distractions. No phone. Just you and your thoughts.

Ask yourself:

1. What am I tolerating in my life that drains me?

2. Where am I pretending to be okay when I’m not?

3. What parts of my life feel alive and meaningful?

This isn’t to judge yourself—but to notice what’s real.

2. Reconnect with Your Core Values

Survival mode disconnects you from your values. You start living by society’s script, not your own. Take time to define (or redefine) your non-negotiables:

1. What kind of man do you choose to be?

2. What principles do you want your life to reflect?

3. What would a meaningful day look like for you?

Clarity on values gives you a compass. Without it, you’ll drift.

3. Stop being obsessed with outcomes and start being committed to the process.

A lot of males get stuck in the thought, "I'll feel better once I get X."

But real confidence comes from sticking to a plan, not getting to the finish.

For instance:

1. Instead of trying to "be more confident," promise to tell the truth every day.

2. Don't wait until you feel "ready" to start a new job. Instead, make a commitment to learn and explore new possibilities immediately.

The process itself builds the life you want.

4. Begin small and stick with it.

You don't need to make big changes to your life. Small, planned actions done over and over again build momentum. It might be as easy as:

1. A 10-minute morning routine to get your feet on the ground.

2. Instead of being alone, reaching out to a buddy.

3. Saying no to things that don't help you reach your goals.

Momentum beats motivation. Start now, not later.

5. Get Support without Ego

Men often think they need to “figure it out alone.” This is one of the biggest barriers to transformation. Real strength is being willing to say, “I want more, but I need guidance.”

Whether it’s working with a coach, joining a men’s group, or even opening up to a trusted friend—support accelerates your shift from escape mode to creator mode.

Life You Don’t Need to Escape From—It’s Possible

1. When you stop numbing out and start intentionally creating, you’ll notice something powerful:

2. You’re no longer chasing happiness—it naturally flows from alignment.

3. You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not.

Life feels less like an exhausting performance and more like an honest expression of who you are.

This is what I coach men to do—not by giving them more to-do lists—but by helping them unlock the clarity, confidence, and direction they already have inside.

In the End: Are You Ready to Move from Survival to Creation?

If you’re tired of escaping and ready to design a life that reflects your values, it’s time to act. The shift starts small, but it starts now.

You don’t need to escape your life. You need to reclaim it.