Chapter 22: The End of the Midnight Sun

Renee listened to Vera speak, the longing in his voice undeniable.

“I couldn’t reach it,” he said. “I believed if I kept walking, one day I would at least be able to step on the shadow of that light.” Doubt crept in. “But when I looked back, I hadn’t taken a single step.” His voice finally turned to hatred. “I thought I was doing well, that I was on a path to glory. But I realized it was nothing but an illusion.”

It was self-hatred, directed at himself. Renee heard his strained breath.

“...Then what?” she asked.

“In the end, I was a foolish man who couldn’t even walk.”

Renee nodded slightly. She didn’t know what light he was chasing, or what it meant to him, but she understood his feelings. The longing, the doubt, the self-loathing. She knew them all too well.

“So, it was grief you felt?” she asked.

Vera’s voice was low and strained. “Rather than grief, it’s fear. I fear I’ll never reach that light. I’m afraid it will always be this way.” His head hung in shame. “I lived my whole life as an evil being, and only later realized I was wrong. I wanted to change.”

His past life flashed through his mind, an image of a vile and wicked man. “But just realizing it isn’t enough. My body still remembers those years. I think that no matter what I do, nothing will change.” He confessed this to a girl who couldn’t possibly understand.

Renee nodded, feeling the emotion behind his words. A small smile touched her lips.

“Sir Knight is an idiot,” she said.

“Yes, I am the most foolish person in the world.”

“Not in that way. You don’t even remember your own words.”

Vera flinched, his teeth clenching. Renee’s smile widened. She remembered his words clearly.

“You never know.” It had been a simple platitude, but it had touched her heart.

“Even the gods in heaven probably don’t know if you will truly change, or if you will get closer to that light than anyone else in the world,” she said. “That’s what you told me. Did you already forget what you said?”

Vera’s eyes widened. Her smile and her words made her sound just like her past self. Her unblemished skin overlapped with a face scarred with burns; her gentle smile, with a twisted sneer; her clean hair, with a filthy mess. The illusion was so real that Vera felt he had gone back in time. He pursed his lips and his hand reached out to grasp at the empty air.

“Sir Knight?” she called.

He couldn't answer. He just stared.

“Sir Knight?” she called again.

“Yes,” he answered, his voice dazed.

“Um, are you in a bad mood?”

He forced an awkward smile. “No, I’m fine.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Renee smiled again. As he felt his spirit drain, she took a step closer. He instinctively stepped back.

Tap.

His back hit a fence, stopping him from retreating further. He just stared as she approached.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Her cane touched his foot, and she stopped, leaving a small space between them. She looked at him.

“Can you give me your hand for a second?” she asked.

Vera didn’t even think to refuse. He placed his rough, scarred hand on her small, white one. He felt a shiver at the warmth, so different from his own, and placed his other hand on top of hers.

“...Is there something you haven’t told me yet?” she mumbled. Her words sent a ripple of unease through him. “The stench of blood is very strong.”

Vera flinched and tried to pull his hand away, but she held on tighter.

Squeeze.

The warmth from her hand became a scorching heat. “Please tell me. I may be blind, but I’m not a fool.” Her tone was more resolute than he had ever heard it.

He felt a wave of hesitation rise from deep within him. He hadn't told her because he didn't want to add to her worries, but it seemed he had done just that. The words were on the tip of his tongue. He had to tell her.

“Do you think there’s a reason to smell blood in this small town?” Her tone was firm, as if she would not tolerate a lie.

Vera suppressed his voice. “Lady…” The word was long and drawn out. He felt his throat choke and he bit his lips before trying again. “...There are people who are after you.”

Renee’s grip tightened. She could feel the heat and hesitation in his hand. “...I apologize for causing you trouble.” It was then that she realized he had kept silent out of consideration for her.

“I’m really an idiot.”

“I apologize...”

“Don’t do that,” she said, sensing his distress. “You don’t need to apologize. Just...” She bit her lip, knowing that if she pointed out that he could have just forced her to come with him, he would only apologize more. She couldn't say that. Not to someone who was so considerate of her.

His hand was large, reflecting the life he had lived. A hand that had struggled to follow the light. Renee stroked the back of her hand against his slightly chilled one.

“...Thank you.”

Flinch. Vera tried to pull his hand away, but she held him tighter.

“Let’s go. To the Holy Kingdom.”

Up until that moment, she had been angry at the gods, and she still was. The world was a disappointment. But...

“Because you’re stupid and don’t tell me things like this,” she said. “It’s frustrating, so I have to go.”

He shouldn’t have to suffer because of her. Someone was doing their best for her, so she couldn't be selfish. Someone was silently protecting her, and she couldn't abandon him.

Renee turned her gaze to Vera. “I wonder if I will ever become a Saint.” To forgive the gods, or accept their power as grace. “...Because I don’t know. I’m still lacking, but you still believe in me. So I’ll go. I’ll go to the Holy Kingdom.”

With that, she unleashed a power she hadn’t used since she received her stigma. A pure white divinity bloomed, enveloping Vera. The fatigue in his body melted away like snow. He looked at her, at her smiling face that resembled a painting of the Saint. It was an awe-inspiring sight, an illusion that everything around them had disappeared, leaving only her glowing form.

He pursed his lips and spoke. “There is no doubt.”

“Hmm?”

“That you will become a person who can truly be called the Saint.”

Pff. Renee smirked. “How can you be sure of that?”

“There’s no ‘if.’ I will make it happen.”

At his words, the oath on his soul burned intensely. He trembled with the warmth and declared, “Even if you fall time and time again, I will protect you so you can stand up once more. So that you can become a greater Saint than anyone else.”

Renee laughed. A smile appeared on Vera’s lips, one he didn’t even know he was capable of.

“Can you guarantee it?” she asked.

“I swear.”

With that, he revealed his stigma, an oath etched onto his soul. As he knelt, another vow, “For the sake of the Saint, so that she becomes the most glorified Saint. That is how I will live,” was added. The oath burned brightly, and his heart grew stronger.

Renee nodded. She didn't know why he was so devoted to her, but she knew the Saint’s power was important to him. It wasn't that she liked it, but it was right to repay his feelings. Since he trusted her so much, she should trust him too. She touched her lips, a smile rising, and felt the warmth from her fingertips.

“Yes, thank you.” A tickling sensation spread through her stomach.