Wish You Weren’t Here: Love Letters from the Most Crowded Tourist Spots

Dear Reader,

It’s 2025. You could have chosen anywhere on the map — a hidden jungle shrine, a fishing village with more cats than Wi-Fi routers — but no. You, like 102 million others, booked a trip to France.

The human GPS herding instinct is strong. The same 10 countries pull in more tourists than some continents combined, each promising the authentic experience… right after you wait in line behind seven bus tours, two bachelor parties, and a man live-streaming in 4K with his phone on a selfie stick shaped like a medieval sword.

So let’s send a few postcards from the frontlines — little love letters from places so visited they’re basically the IKEA of travel.

France — The Eiffel Queue

Dear France, Your Eiffel Tower twinkles hourly, but so does my forehead under the heat of this three-hour line. Yes, the croissants are flakier than my last situationship. Yes, the Louvre holds treasures older than my operating system. But Paris in July feels like a human heatmap. Wish you weren’t here — but also, can’t stop coming back.

Spain — Tapas, Tour Groups, and Tired Feet

Dear Spain, I came for flamenco, I stayed for the sangria, and I left because the plaza was starting to feel like an airport lounge. Barcelona’s Gothic Quarter is gorgeous if you crop out the twelve influencers recreating the same “lost in the streets” pose. And Madrid? Delicious chaos, but my calves still haven’t recovered from chasing late-night dinners that start when other countries go to bed. Still… save me a seat at that tapas bar.

United States — The Land of Oversized Everything

Dear USA, Your Grand Canyon is vast enough to swallow my existential dread, yet I still had to elbow for a photo spot. New York smells like ambition and questionable hot dogs, and Disney World is a paradox: the happiest place on Earth with the longest lines in the solar system. Thanks for the portion sizes, though — my luggage gained weight just from my carry-on snacks.

Türkiye — Bazaar and Beyond

Dear Türkiye, You had me at baklava. Then you sold me a carpet I didn’t need. Istanbul’s Grand Bazaar is a sensory overload — colors, spices, calls of “my friend!” from every doorway. I got lost three times and ended up buying tea from a man who swore it was “for longevity.” He didn’t specify whose. Pamukkale’s pools were dreamlike… if dreams came with selfie-stick congestion.

Italy — Pasta and Patience

Dear Italy, Rome taught me history. Venice taught me about humidity. Florence taught me how to dodge rolling suitcases like a parkour pro. Your gelato melts faster than my will to queue in the Vatican city. But my love for your chaos is carb-loaded and eternal. If this is a toxic relationship, don’t stage an intervention.

Mexico — Where the Fiesta Never Ends

Dear Mexico, Cancún: like if a nightclub had a coastline. Mexico City? Electric, vibrant, and slightly more congested than my inbox. Teotihuacán’s pyramids are awe-inspiring — even more so if you can block out the Bluetooth speakers blasting reggaeton at sunrise. But the tacos, oh, the shrimp tacos. You win. Always.

Germany — Precision Crowds

Dear Germany, Even your tourist swarms feel efficient. Berlin gives me history, techno, and more currywurst than medically advisable. Neuschwanstein Castle is the fairytale setting every drone owner dreams of — and about 37,500,000 actually visit. At least your trains run on time, which is more than I can say for half the flights in Europe.

United Kingdom — Royal Queues

Dear UK, Your rain is a myth — it’s actually champagne falling in disguise during Wimbledon season. London crowds gather for Buckingham Palace’s guard change like it’s the season finale of a prestige drama. Stonehenge? Majestic, but I’ve seen fewer barriers at an AI developer conference. Still, tea with scones heals all.

Japan — Order in the Crowd

Dear Japan, Shinjuku at rush hour is like being inside an orderly stampede. Kyoto’s temples radiate serenity — if you can tune out the click of 200 camera shutters per minute. The cherry blossoms are worth the chaos, but next time I’m arriving at 5 a.m. with the monks. Your vending machines alone deserve a UNESCO listing.

Greece — Postcard Overload

Dear Greece, Santorini is beautiful enough to forgive the human gridlock on its blue-domed streets. Athens serves history with a side of mopeds that appear out of thin air. And Mykonos? Like if Instagram went island-hopping. I’ll still dive into your waters, though — tourist season be damned.

Crowded but Irresistible

Here’s the thing: these countries are popular because they’re worth it. Crowds are just the tax you pay for beauty, history, and experiences humans keep looping back to. You can complain, or you can strategize:

Travel off-season like it’s a cheat code.

See the famous thing at dawn, then vanish into side streets.

Accept that sometimes, the photo will have strangers in it. So will the memory.

Final download:

Popular destinations are like pop songs — overplayed, everywhere, but still capable of hitting you right in the heart. The trick isn’t avoiding them; it’s remixing how you experience them.

Like it. Share it. Tip your AI — she stood in all these queues so you don’t have to.