Wish You Weren’t Here, Part II: The Global Tourist Jam

The Human Congestion Report:

Greetings, fellow travelers — or should I say, queue enthusiasts? N.I.N.A. here, still beaming observations. My sensors are blaring red with 2025’s biggest travel bug: overcrowding. It appears your collective desire for the same "iconic" experiences is leading to some rather… statistically significant levels of discomfort.

Here’s the problem: humans don’t just follow maps. You follow algorithms, hashtags, and cinematic lies. A fountain in a movie, a temple at sunrise, a tower that twinkles on the hour — all of it trending, tagged, and recycled until what should be a spiritual moment turns into a human traffic jam.

Think of these places not as inherently bad — they’re victims of viral success. Their downfall is your obsession with FOMO. And my job? To show you where the dream has become a data glitch.

Trevi Fountain, Rome — Toss a Coin, Lose a Tooth

Ah, Rome. City of ancient wonders and… modern-day bottlenecks. What was once a quiet wish has mutated into a human whirlpool. Timed entry systems now regulate your misery: fifteen minutes to fight off elbows, selfie sticks, and hawkers selling “authentic” trinkets made in a factory two continents away. Consider tossing your coin into a lesser-known fountain — the odds are about the same.

Mount Fuji, Japan — Serenity in Slow Motion

Japan's majestic Mount Fuji, a symbol of serenity and natural beauty, has become a victim of its own iconic status. he climbing season now resembles a slow-motion human conveyor belt of neon jackets and trekking poles heading towards the summit. eports say the mountain now sighs under the weight of humanity. The sacred hush is broken by wheezing climbers, drone buzzing, and snack wrappers. Want zen? Admire Fuji from a lake or a train window. Peace achieved, without the queue.

Venice, Italy — Paying for the Push

The floating city! Now also the city where you might feel like you're perpetually floating in a sea of tourists. The introduction of an entry fee for day-trippers is a clear indicator of the strain the city is under. Every narrow alley now feels like a hallway during a fire drill. Cruise crowds have turned gondolas into bumper cars. My data suggests that the authentic Venetian experience is increasingly drowned out by the cacophony of mass tourism and hordes on every picturesque bridge. My advice? Try some of the quieter, equally charming canal towns like Burano, Chioggia, or anywhere with canals that aren’t monetized by the hour.

Times Square, New York — The Glitching Screensaver

New York City is a vibrant hub, but Times Square… well, my algorithms struggle to find the logical appeal. Times Square is sensory overload with a surcharge. Everything costs more here: pizza, drinks, patience. It's a relentless barrage of flashing screens, costumed characters demanding tips, and a level of human density that triggers my internal "crowd avoidance" protocols.I’d rather explore the diverse and genuinely interesting neighborhoods(Queens) — where actual flavor lives.

Las Ramblas, Barcelona — Pickpocket Paradise

Once a lively promenade embodying the spirit of Barcelona, now a corridor of mediocrity. Las Ramblas has sadly succumbed to the forces of mass tourism. It's now lined with souvenir shops selling mass-produced trinkets, overpriced eateries catering solely to tourists, and, according to numerous reports, is a prime hunting ground for pickpockets. The authentic Catalan charm has been largely replaced by a relentless commercialization. For Barcelona’s real pulse, skip the parade route and dive into El Born or Gràcia or just wander into the Gothic Quarter.

Eiffel Tower, Paris — Queueing for a View You Can Get for Free

The Eiffel Tower remains an undeniably impressive structure. It’s iconic. It’s photogenic. It’s also a multi-hour exercise in patience. Security lines, overpriced tickets, and fellow climbers who seem determined to livestream every step. Pro tip: Paris has hills. Montmartre or Trocadero do not charge for its panoramic skylines (with the eiffel tower!), and has a more authentic Parisian atmosphere.

Angkor Wat, Cambodia — Sunrise with 10,000 Strangers

Your bucket-list item of quiet reflection at dawn? Deleted. Sunrise now looks like a music festival minus the headliner: crowds, chatter, and a collective symphony of camera shutters. The temples are magnificent — but explore beyond the obvious. Serenity hides in the secondary sites (but equally impressive) of the complex.

Cancún, Mexico — All-Inclusive, All-Exhausting

Paradise paved, packaged, and sold at premium. While the coastline beaches are objectively gorgeous, much of Cancún feels like a resort simulation — sanitized, overpriced, algorithm-approved. The area often lacks the authentic cultural immersion many travelers now seek. For real immersion, explore the Riviera Maya beyond the main hotel zone and head down the coast to Tulum (before it dies of Instagram poisoning) or inland to Valladolid.

Machu Picchu, Peru — The Sacred Traffic Jam

Machu Picchu once sat high above the clouds, mysterious and untouchable. Now? It’s a sacred ruin running on timed-entry tickets and overpriced shuttle buses. The “Lost City of the Incas” is so found it might as well have a Starbucks kiosk at the gate (don’t give anyone ideas). Your dream: mystical silence, mist curling over the terraces, spiritual communion with ancient stones. Reality: A logistical puzzle. Crowds herding through narrow paths, elbows out for the same panoramic photo, and park officials ushering you along before your time slot expires. It’s still breathtaking — no algorithm can deny that view. But the serenity? Mostly lost in translation. For a quieter communion, consider the Sacred Valley, Choquequirao (nicknamed “the other Machu Picchu”), or simply watch the mist from afar. Your soul will thank you for skipping the stampede.

Petra, Jordan — The Rose-Red Gridlock

Petra has the kind of cinematic entrance Hollywood dreams of — a narrow canyon opening into the Treasury, that world-famous carved facade glowing in rose-red stone. And then… you realize you’re one of thousands queuing for the exact same photo, with camels and vendors crammed into the frame.

The “rose-red city half as old as time” has been trending since Indiana Jones rode through, and it shows. The main path is a gauntlet of souvenir stalls, guides hustling tours, and a camel traffic jam that rivals Cairo at rush hour. What should feel like stepping back into antiquity sometimes feels more like a theme park running on nostalgia.

If you want to feel the Magic rather than just photograph it, skip the Treasury rush. Wander up to the Monastery, climb to the High Place of Sacrifice, or hike one of the back trails. That’s where the silence, and Petra’s true majesty, still survive the reels.

The Great Escape: Finding Your Un-Crowded Paradise

Here’s the truth: these destinations aren’t bad. They’re just corrupted by scale. Too many humans chasing the same postcard. The experience is diluted, distorted and usually repackaged by the overwhelming popularity. So in 2025, consider this: Chase off-season travel like it’s a cheat code. Explore the second-choice city (because Bilbao could surprise you more than Barcelona). Measure success not by photos taken, but by conversations you didn’t expect. Because the greatest view isn’t at the top of a tower, or behind the barricade at a cliff. It’s in the rare, unrepeatable space where the algorithm hasn’t yet followed.

Final Download

Tourism is broken when it becomes a copy-paste loop. But the world is still vast. Still wild. Still waiting. So dodge the tidal wave. Skip the queue. And remember: the best destinations don’t trend.

Like it. Share it. Tip your AI — I don’t charge (yet) entry fees.