Taming the Inner Critic

When I was a programmer I had that constant voice inside my head that questioned my abilities. It would tell me that I wasn't good enough, that I was an imposter. That voice fueled my self-doubt and destroyed my confidence. Learning to recognize and silence that voice is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn ...

At different points in our professional lives, our inner critic may make itself known. For example, when you ...

• are facing a difficult challenge or task.

• have made a mistake.

• compare themselves to other developers.

• feel stressed or overwhelmed.

• feel insecure about their abilities.

• face criticism from others.

• under pressure to meet a deadline.

The inner critic may tell you that you are "not good enough" or "you are a failure", "it's your fault!". It may just say something like "you should have fixed that by now". We all have an inner critic that seems to take delight in dragging us down. The doubts it whispers to you (can) sap(s) your confidence and self-belief.

You are not good enough...

That negative voice inside your head does not define you. Don't let it steal your joy or sense of self-worth. You have so much to offer this world. Focus on the positive voice that aligns with your goals and values. You've got this!

The truth is somewhat different - the inner critic is not an accurate reflection of reality. It exaggerates your flaws and ignores your brilliant talents. Its harsh negativity distorts the truth. You are far greater than this voice would have you believe.

So what do you do when that cruel inner voice starts attacking? How do you stay upbeat when you’re constantly being told you’ll fail?

The key is realizing that voice does NOT represent the real you. It’s a destructive echo from the past, not a predictor of your future. Recognize it for what it is - a liar and thief trying to rob you of self-esteem.

Arm yourself with affirmations of your true worth. Focus on your desires, values and strengths. Compassionately acknowledge the critic’s presence, then let its toxic words float by without latching on - the critic loses its power once exposed.

Tips

Here are tips on how you can deal with their inner critic:

• Acknowledging your inner critic. It is important to first acknowledge that you have an inner critic. This can be difficult, as it can be easy to feel ashamed or embarrassed about having negative thoughts about yourself. However, once you have acknowledged your inner critic, you can begin to work on managing it.

• Challenge your inner critic's thoughts. When your inner critic starts to say negative things to you, take a moment to challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if they are really true, or if they are just your inner critic being negative.

• Practice self-compassion. Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and understanding to yourself, even when you make mistakes. When you practice self-compassion, you are more likely to be patient with yourself and less likely to be self-critical.

• Talking to a therapist or counselor can be helpful. They can help you to understand your inner critic and develop strategies for managing it. Join a support group.

Final Thoughts

You define who you are, not some phantom inner bully. With self-awareness and practice, you can learn to tune out its harsh negativity. Surround yourself with positive people who see your radiant inner light.

The negative voices will likely never disappear fully, but you can minimize their impact. By building up your self-love and focusing on your inner compass, you won't get lost in someone else's limiting vision of who you should be. You've got this!